Following Bill and Warren into Deepest, Darkest Africa

4 min read

I did follow them. We stayed at the same tented safari camp. At almost the same time. They were there just a few months before my crew and I arrived. And yeah, their accommodations were a little nicer than ours. But still, we all “camped” on the same river, saw pretty much the same animals and danced with the Masai Warriors. And I even got a peek at their en suite baths. Mine was just as nice. See, my life is not all that different from a billionaire’s. At least when going to the bathroom in the jungle. 

Adios Señor Presidente

4 min read

I liked the Mexican President. I admired the Mexican President. So, I felt bad when I had to leave him hanging. Literally. About 1,400 feet up, dangling over Copper Canyon, in a malfunctioning cable car. But I had a ride to catch. And he would be fine. At least I was pretty sure he would be fine. Help had arrived. Still I felt bad leaving him. And his wife. And his three small children. Dangling there about half a kilometer above the gorge. But like I said, there was only one ride out of this place. And it was ready to leave without me. Yes, he’s the president of Mexico… and I’m sure he’s gotten himself out of tighter jams. Right?

Our Own Private Portlandia

5 min read

…And then there is the sort of vacation that has an ulterior motive. Like those settlers crossing the Oregon Trail, I too was having visions of paradise over that next hill… in today’s Oregon. Portland, Oregon. Portland, where 25-year-olds go to retire.

Our Chopper's On Fire... What Again?

Our Chopper's On Fire... What Again?

 4 min read

The first time it happened, I didn’t even know there was a problem. But why should I? I was a TV producer, not a helicopter pilot. There were no flames or anything like that to induce hair-on-fire panic. But something tipped the pilot off – maybe one of his gauges or perhaps he sniffed the smell of burning chopper. Whatever – one moment we were getting beauty shots, the next we were diving for the river bank. Being a little slow, my only thought was, “What the… he ruined our shot!” 

Ever Jump On a Plane... Just Because?

5 min read

I did. Once. It was a long time ago and clearly, I was a more spontaneous critter back then. I didn’t have kids yet or a significant other. Just me, my little bachelor pad in Venice, California, and my backpack. So, here’s what happened: I awoke one morning as usual, without a thought in my head, and by that evening, I was sleeping under the stars, a thousand miles away on a luxuriant forest floor. I didn’t even have a map to get me there. Just a vague idea. Sometimes you gotta let those stars lead the way.

Engine Trouble Plus Vomit

4 min read

Family vacations and car trouble. Does that bring up anything for ya? For our family, sometimes the trouble was mechanical. Sometimes it was intestinal. We’d take off for places with names like Fort Ticonderoga or Blue Sky Lodge. Sometimes we got there. Sometimes the vacation ended thirty minutes later on the Belt Parkway in Brooklyn – the car wheezing with a flooded carburetor.

Attack Of The Baby Elephants

3 min read

It was a stampede. Dozens of them - a thundering herd. Each weighed hundreds of pounds and nothing could stop their furious charge. The ground shook and we stared in disbelief as they raced toward us, trumpeting frantically. They were hungry, ravenous and in a wild-eyed rush. Now they were upon us. We should have been terrified… instead, we laughed and petted them as they rumbled by, most of them about waist high.

I Hurl On Your Sacred Relics

3 min read

This plane was so small it could barely fit three people. Squeezed up front were the pilot and the director. Then the fuselage tapered to a congested cubicle, into which I was stuffed. I had never been in such a tiny plane. It was like a doghouse with wings.

How Ian Fleming Saved My Blackberry – a James Bond Adventure

4 min read

I think all boys who grew up in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s have a bromance with James Bond. I don’t mean the actors who portrayed him for the past fifty-five years. I mean the fictional super spy himself. He’s a boy’s idea of where they see themselves at 25 – confident, in charge and playing with the best toys in the universe.

Abu Tommy And The Hubbly Bubbly

4 min read

Ever feel outnumbered? I don’t mean to sound like too much of a Western chauvinist, but on my Royal Jordanian flight to Amman I was definitely the outsider. My clothes, fair hair and blue eyes clearly set me apart from a sea of dark complexions and darker beards. Not that anyone else seemed to give a damn. They weren’t alarmed about my copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul.  Or even when I started humming, “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head”. No one looked at me funny or reported me to the flight crew for being too white. Although they probably should have.

Mr. Frank Stallone Wants To Read (His Book) On This Flight!

5 min read

Things haven’t gone so well for air travelers lately. These days you can’t open Facebook without seeing a video of a passenger being beaten with their own stroller, dragged down the aisle by their feet or subjected to waterboarding in the rear lavatory. (“ALL RIGHT! I’ll take the next flight!”)  I recently got a taste of this new economy-class terrorism. By the time we touched down in L.A. I had been involved in a scrap that included my fellow passengers, my ex-mother-in-law, Mr. Frank Stallone and the FAA. But at least no one lost any teeth.

Chamber of Ten Thousand Flowers/Toilet

Chamber of Ten Thousand Flowers/Toilet
3 min read

Well that’s what the sign said. I wasn’t sure if it was indicating two different destinations or… maybe this was just the most beautiful euphemism ever for a bathroom. “S’cuse me, I need to use the Chamber of Ten Thousand Flowers. Do you have the key?”

4 Days And 3 Lovely Nights At Hitler's Berchtesgaden

5 min read

It was a scene out of Hitchcock. I woke up and stared through the picture window at the expanse of rolling hills. They were a startling watercolor. I would have enjoyed the view more if I knew what was going on. And if I knew where this place was. The problem as I saw it - I had no idea where in the world I had woken up.  

Let Flat Stanley Take You To The Promised Land

Let Flat Stanley Take You To The Promised Land
4 min read

Who is the world’s most traveled man? Phileas Fogg? Pope John Paul II? James Bond? I’d put my traveling money on Stanley…. Flat Stanley. I don’t believe anyone’s clocked more miles than this diminutive road warrior. And why not?  He’s small, he’s flat and he’s fun. Plus, kids love him. Maybe that’s why he hitched along with me on trips to France, South Africa and Jordan. Flat Stanley is one travelin’ man.

My Taj Mahal

4 min read

My Taj Mahal isn’t the same as yours. Yours is probably that iconic marble mausoleum seen in travel brochures and magazines in dentists' offices. My Taj Mahal is a majestic Victorian hotel overlooking the port in Mumbai, that demands your undivided attention. Here are just a few who have passed through its welcoming doors - Mahatma Gandhi, Duke Ellington, John and Yoko, Sir Mick, Brad and Angelina, “W”, the Clintons, the Obamas, me and the guys… and 9 terrorists from Pakistan.

It's Spring Break In The Galaxy

4 min read

I knew the Galaxy was immense. I just never realized how roomy it would be. Yet that was the feeling as I drove down I-95 to the Florida Keys. It was spring break. I had one hand on the wheel and the other out the window, slapping time to the music coming from this massive Ford Galaxy.